Each day, I observe individuals attributing human traits to their horses. While I find this completely natural and do it myself from time to time, I often notice that many people overlook the concepts of freedom and choice in relation to their horses. I think this stems from a traditional mindset that suggests horses lack emotions concerning these aspects. This outdated logic has been disproven, and it's time to evolve our perspective on horse care and training.
The ability to make decisions, to chart our own course, and to express our desires is fundamental to our sense of identity and well-being, it makes us sentient. Horses are sentient beings too. This is why the concept of choice is equally important when considering the welfare of our equine companions. Horses, like humans, have their own preferences, moods, and personalities, and acknowledging this is attunement.
When we allow horses to make choices, we respect their individuality and foster an environment of mutual trust. Just as we appreciate having a say in our own lives, horses thrive in situations where their autonomy is acknowledged. This can lead to a reduction in stress and a more positive association with their human partners.
Taking a step back to observe and listen to what a horse is communicating can reveal a lot about their current state and needs. By providing them with choices, whether it’s about participating in a training session or simply enjoying a peaceful day in the pasture (instead of being locked in a stall), we are building a relationship founded on respect and understanding. In doing so, we not only nurture the well-being of our horses but also enrich our own lives with the joy of a genuine connection.
This topic is difficult to write about and even more difficult for some of us to think about. Why? We’re insecure, that’s why. We wonder (and even fear) if we give our horses a choice, will they choose to be with us? Will they want to work with us? Will they find us worthy companions? The easy answer – sometimes yes, sometimes no. When your horse says nt, what do you do? Bribe him, sneak up on him, chase him. Why? Does it really matter that ONE time if your horse doesn’t get his lesson for the day? Is there an advantage of allowing a no sometimes or are you focused on “winning that battle” or “not letting them get away with it”?
These questions tap into the core of our own vulnerabilities, highlighting the delicate balance between control and companionship. It's natural to fear rejection, but it's important to remember that trust and affection are earned, not forced. It’s also important to remember that most of our fears come from a mindset of keeping horses that centered around their usefulness to humans. Now, our horses are used less for work and more for fun. We want horses to add an important element to our lives, shouldn’t we give something important back?
By allowing our horses the freedom to express their preferences, we are inviting them into a partnership where their voices matter. This approach can deepen the bond between horse and human, making interactions more meaningful and rewarding. When a horse willingly chooses to engage with us, it is a testament to the trust and respect we've cultivated.
Do you force the humans in your life to hang out with you whenever, wherever you say? Probably not. Horses, just like humans build trust with social interaction and boundaries. By allowing them to show us their preferences, we find that place of attunement. I know there are a lot of people who have that little voice saying, “but what if he NEVER wants to be with me”? Well, then you probably have some work to do, but usually it isn’t quite as hard as you think.
This is where horse psychology gets interesting. If your horse gave you the “I don’t think I’m feeling it today nod” and you to just hang out and do what he does (you already allotted barn time anyway) he’d think that was pretty cool. Just like that time you wanted to go see that live music and you knew your friend wasn’t really into it, but they went anyway. How did that make you feel? This type of bonding is more appropriate to the horse’s way of thinking than the “come and be wrangled” scenario. Often, in our relationships with horses, we force the horse into a codependent state.
By allowing horses the freedom to express their preferences, we invite them into a more balanced and healthy relationship. This dynamic acknowledges that both parties have their own needs and desires, creating a partnership that is less about dominance and more about collaboration. It's about recognizing that a horse's autonomy doesn't diminish our relationship but rather enhances it by making it more genuine and fulfilling.
When we move away from a codependent state and towards a partnership, we create an environment where both the horse and human can thrive. This approach encourages us to see our horses as sentient beings with their own emotions and thoughts, deserving of respect and consideration. It challenges us to be more empathetic, patient, and understanding, qualities that ultimately strengthen the bond we share with our equine companions.
In this context, the choices we offer our horses become opportunities for growth and connection. Whether it's letting them decide when to engage in activities or simply respecting their need for space and rest, these choices are valuable. They pave the way for a relationship that is built on trust and mutual respect, where both horse and human feel valued and understood. It’s also a great way to explore your own fears and control issues.
By examining how we interact with our horses, we gain insight into our own tendencies and anxieties. Are we clinging too tightly to control, afraid of letting go because it might reveal something about ourselves? Or are we open to the idea that allowing some freedom can lead to growth and discovery?
This process of self-reflection can be transformative. It encourages us to confront our insecurities and to consider the value of trust and patience, not just in our relationships with horses, but in all areas of life. In this journey, horses have so much to offer us. Horses, with their gentle yet powerful presence, remind us of the joy of simple pleasures and the beauty of living in the moment. They encourage us to be present, to listen more deeply, and to appreciate the subtle nuances of non-verbal communication.
I believe, the relationships we build with our horses should mirror the best of human relationships—a blend of mutual respect, understanding, and shared experiences. By embracing this philosophy, we not only honor the individuality of our equine friends but also foster a harmonious coexistence that enriches both our lives and theirs. Ultimately, the exploration of freedom and choice isn’t just about equestrianism; it's a metaphor for personal growth. It challenges us to consider what it means to truly connect, to be vulnerable, and to build relationships that honor the unique spirit of each individual involved.
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